Sometimes it is important to say No. Maybe someone wants you to do something but you know that there is no time for it in your life. Your schedule is packed and you need a break from extra responsibilities. Other times, you don’t even want to do it and you know it is not the right thing for you to do, yet you feel pressured to accommodate someone else. Maybe out of guilt or distraction or for some other reason. In any case, it is not for you to do.
Also remember this – when you say yes to a project or task that is not right for you, there is someone else who is not going to be doing it – someone else who may be better suited or who needs the challenge but will not come forward because you have already agreed to do it.
So how do you say No?
Here are 3 important steps to take.
Get Clear
First and foremost, get clear about what is right for you. For a minute or two, forget about everyone else. Forget about other people’s demands, expectations, requirements and opinions. Sit quietly and determine what is true and right for you.
Get clear.
Maybe this takes a few sessions of stillness so you can hear yourself think clearly. Maybe a long uninterrupted walk. Whatever it takes, find a way to listen deeply to your true inner wisdom and know what is right for you.
Call Your Friend
Second, once you know what is right for you, get help from a friend. Find someone you can talk to who will completely support you and what is best for you. This person will be primarily concerned for you and your well being. Someone you know who will support your decision to do what is right in this situation. Talk to them and get them to help you stick to your resolve. Someone who will encourage you if you waiver or begin to doubt yourself.
When you get ready to communicate your No answer, this friend will be rooting for you. Make sure you tell them when you plan to deliver the news so that you have accountability for following through with your plan.
Speak Up For Yourself
Third, go do it. Write a letter, email, make a phone call, stop by the office. Whatever it is that you need to do to say No. Make it short and firm. Be gracious, courteous and clear. This is your life and you must be true to yourself.
OK that’s it. Not so bad after all.
Get clear.
Call your friend.
Speak up for yourself.
You can do it!
Let me know how it goes.
Best blessings to you,
Kathleen