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Create What You Think


What you think is what you create. Each time you put forth a new thought, the world within you and around you begins to make that thought come true.

When you focus on the annoyances, disappointments, irritations and resentments, they will naturally grow. And each of these things becomes more manifest, more brilliant, more embodied in your everyday life.

So here is the good news. By switching your perspective, you get to change your experience and ultimately change the outcome of your life.

Shift your perspective from what is wrong to what is right. Focus on what is working – even if it is only one small thing. Put your attention and intention on seeing the good in your life.

Now watch as your life mysteriously begins to have more of the experiences you desire. Notice a deeper sense of clarity in your work, ease in your projects, joy in your friendships and greater compassion, instead of irritation, for your family.

Take a minute to look at an old picture with fresh eyes. It is all about intention.

Give it a try and notice how the shift in perspective causes a shift in experience.

Best blessings to you,
Kathleen

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3 Essential Steps To Learn To Say No


Sometimes it is important to say No. Maybe someone wants you to do something but you know that there is no time for it in your life. Your schedule is packed and you need a break from extra responsibilities. Other times, you don’t even want to do it and you know it is not the right thing for you to do, yet you feel pressured to accommodate someone else. Maybe out of guilt or distraction or for some other reason. In any case, it is not for you to do.

Also remember this – when you say yes to a project or task that is not right for you, there is someone else who is not going to be doing it – someone else who may be better suited or who needs the challenge but will not come forward because you have already agreed to do it.

So how do you say No?

Here are 3 important steps to take.

Get Clear

First and foremost, get clear about what is right for you. For a minute or two, forget about everyone else. Forget about other people’s demands, expectations, requirements and opinions. Sit quietly and determine what is true and right for you.

Get clear.

Maybe this takes a few sessions of stillness so you can hear yourself think clearly. Maybe a long uninterrupted walk. Whatever it takes, find a way to listen deeply to your true inner wisdom and know what is right for you.

Call Your Friend

Second, once you know what is right for you, get help from a friend. Find someone you can talk to who will completely support you and what is best for you. This person will be primarily concerned for you and your well being. Someone you know who will support your decision to do what is right in this situation. Talk to them and get them to help you stick to your resolve. Someone who will encourage you if you waiver or begin to doubt yourself.

When you get ready to communicate your No answer, this friend will be rooting for you. Make sure you tell them when you plan to deliver the news so that you have accountability for following through with your plan.

Speak Up For Yourself

Third, go do it. Write a letter, email, make a phone call, stop by the office. Whatever it is that you need to do to say No. Make it short and firm. Be gracious, courteous and clear. This is your life and you must be true to yourself.

OK that’s it. Not so bad after all.
Get clear.
Call your friend.
Speak up for yourself.

You can do it!
Let me know how it goes.

Best blessings to you,
Kathleen

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Be Well (3 easy ways)


Take good care of yourself

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If you are like me there are so many demands being made on you. And they all need your attention right now.

But the main thing to remember is that no matter how loud each requirement, demand, distraction or entanglement becomes, if you are not taking good care of yourself you will be unable to satisfy any of them.

So start with eating well. This means something different for everyone, but you know what is best for you. You know what it is like when your body feels fit and healthy. Make it a point to get those foods into your body.

Then, of course, be sure to exercise. A walk is always a good idea – it can be a quick brisk ’round-the-block walk. If you have more time or energy, make it a hike. Or whatever exercise gets you revitalized.

Finally, get a good night sleep. Go to bed now if you can! Or at least as soon as possible. Turn off the TV and computer, put down the book and get yourself to sleep.

These three simple things will make a huge difference.

That’s it.
Eat. Move. Sleep.
And be well.

xo,
Kathleen

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Compassion


Have compassion for yourself. Often we find it easy to feel and extend compassion for others. We may feel sympathetic for their suffering or feel as if they might deserve compassion.

But when it comes to ourselves, we may be judgmental or harsh. We may blame ourselves or have a sense of shame instead of compassion and generosity of kindness.

Yet, a little bit of love can go a long way, especially when you give it to yourself. From there, you can extend it to others and they in turn can pass it on.

Simple idea.

And it is not hard to do when you remember.

Next time you sense that self judgment coming on, take a moment for gratitude and appreciation for the amazing person you are and have compassion for yourself.

Best blessings,
Kathleen

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You know what to do


You have the answer inside of yourself. You know what to do. Maybe it is not always apparent because there are so many distractions and choices to make.

But here is a quick and simple tip that you can do to help sort out which direction to take.

Simplify your choices.

Instead of having a long drawn out internal conversation about should I do this or should I do that and what about this part of it and that part of it and what if and on and on and on.

Stop.

Breathe.

Simplify.

Get your two options distilled down to the heart of the matter. Simplify your choice to one or two words.

Breathe again. And notice how much easier it is to figure what to do when you get to the most simple, direct, clear core of each choice.

Give it a try and Enjoy!

Kathleen

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Find A New Perspective


A new perspective Consider looking at your life, your problem, your situation from a new perspective. Having trouble with that co-worker or someone in your family? Imagine the situation from a new angle, a new view.

One simple but surprisingly easy way to embody a new perspective is to quite literally look at things differently. Take a different route to work, move your desk or chair to a new place, take a walk in a different direction than you usually do.

And as you make this literal change of perspective, set your intention to have a different psychological and emotional perspective. Include in your intention the addition of compassion and a sense of amusement and I assure you things will take a new course.

Give yourself permission to be pleasantly surprised as you gain new perspective.

Enjoy!

Kathleen

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You Can Change The World


You can change the world.

All you have to do is be yourself 100% right now.

Each day that you are in your present moment – right here & right now – you bring an authentic and genuine expression of yourself into the world and that is the beginning of all transformation.

Change Yourself. Change The World.
Transform Yourself. Transform The World.

Be true and honest and present in this moment. Because that action and that intention of authentic, genuine, honest 100% truth will spread in your life. And the lives of those around you.

Really really, it will.

So keep at it and every moment, every day: Be Yourself.

Blessings and love,

Kathleen

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Listen To Your Truth


Know that you have the truth inside you. You know what to do in each situation that presents itself in your life. You can access the truth, your best options, all the information you need if you are willing to take the time to listen carefully.

With care.

How do you do this?

Stop. Sit. Breathe. Wait.

Have patience and trust the process. If you sit quietly every day, you will begin to develop the ability to recognize the difference between what is your inner truth and what is the noise and distraction of the world.

It is simple and powerful.

But here is the key: Only you can do it. No one can do it for you. You can’t buy it, borrow it, steal it or otherwise get it from the outside.

You are the one who has to make the decision to create that meditation commitment. Every Day.

Start with 5 minutes. Right now. And set you timer every day this week to make time to sit in silence and stillness, with care. To hear yourself think and to listen to your truth. Enjoy.

Xo,
Kathleen

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Know That Tingly Feeling?


You know that tingly feeling?

Often times when we are trying to make a decision, there are many factors, variables and options to consider. There are agendas and ideas and other people to take into account. It can be over whelming and confusing at times.

But as you proceed, take a moment to pause. Stop. Listen. Notice. And you will be able to sense somewhere deep inside you that tingly sensation, a small voice, a butterfly in your stomach that is calling out, “Here! Look here for the answer!”

That smallest deepest sensation that is tapping, nagging, whispering, tingling, is your deepest truth trying to get your attention. And with awareness you can hear it and with courage you can follow it.

Trust it. Build on it and take action.

Maybe it is with a little trepidation at first, but each time you follow your deepest truth it becomes stronger and you become more confident in your choices.

Give it a try today.

Xo,
Kathleen

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Choose Your Words With Care


Choose your words with care.

When we speak to other people and particularly when we speak to ourselves, our words are powerful. Each word has the opportunity to affect an outcome. Each word can create action. Each word forms an impression, good or bad, that leads to a result of some sort.

You have seen how your words of encouragement to a friend may have helped them at just the right moment. You have experienced the spontaneous kind words from someone that gave you strength when you need it. You have heard words of inspiration that lead you to take a new action or a new direction in your life.

Words are powerful.

Now consider the words you use to speak to yourself. Usually we speak to ourselves in our head, but sometimes something is uttered out loud unconsciously. Have you ever said, “Oh, how could I be so stupid?” Or “What is wrong with me?”

We do that sometimes. We say mean things to ourselves that we would likely never say to someone else.

So how about this – try something this week. Choose something about yourself that you want to hear as encouragement, support or inspiration. And then, for the week, say it aloud to yourself at least once each day and see what happens.

You might be surprised, uncomfortable, relieved or something else. Don’t worry about how you will feel…just do it.

Here are some ideas: “Good job!” (short and simple) “I love my life” (Very Powerful if you do that every day) or even “Thank You” (when is the last time you thanked yourself)

Give it a try.

Xo,

Kathleen

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Can You Hear Yourself?


Can you hear yourself?

Or are there too many people, ideas, opinions and agendas roaming around in your head. I bet some are pretty loud. Even the ones that are not loud can be so persistent that it hurts.

So turn them all off.

Yup, every one of them. Your family, your work associates, your boss, your partner, your parents and your kids. Don’t forget to turn off the TV, the computer, the radio, the iPod, iPad, iPhone and iDistractions.

Are you with me? I thought so!

OK, so how do you do it?

Here is how: Stop. Sit. Breathe.

Do not be fooled by the simplicity. And do not be worried if all the noises don’t turn off right away.

But if you keep doing this, a little bit every day, one day without any effort or pressure or difficulty, you will find a moment of stillness. No noise, no one else.

And in that moment you will be able to truly, deeply hear yourself.

Start now.

Xo,

Kathleen

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Keep It Simple


Sometimes the best way to proceed is to stick to the basics. Nothin’ Fancy Here.

So in a clear effort to keep it simple, let me give you this for thought:

Meditate Every Day + Follow Your Intuition

The Meditate Every Day part of this equation can be as short and easy as a 5 Minute Meditation.

The Follow Your Intuition is as simple as a pause. When you hear that small voice, take a breath and pause for a moment. Listen to it, trust it and give yourself permission to follow it

That’s it. Enjoy!

Best to you,
Kathleen

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6 ways to turn your “to do” list into an action plan


My “to do” list is 5 pages long! No wonder I can get so overwhelmed.

Now some of it is just stuff that is wondering around my head that I think I gotta do.

And some of it is stuff that if I ignore will eventually go away – no harm done (do I really need to post a new picture on my profile page??)

But much of it I really truly do need to do.

So what is the best way to separate the truly essential from the merely loud? And how is it possible to stop feeling guilty for not getting everything done?

Here are 6 easy ways to help get all that jumble in your head and turn it into a practical action plan.

#1 Write everything you need to do in one place. Sometimes I have bits of notes, both on paper and digital, of all the things that pop in my head for me to get done. You know what I am talking about – back of the envelope, sticky notes, reminders on my computer.

But many fragmented lists just lead to false impressions. On the one hand is seems as if there are only a few things to do because each list has only a few things on it – micro-lists I call them. On the other hand, it is easy to feel overwhelmed with the dread of having so much to do without having a realistic assessment of what those things are.

So once a week I gather up all of those bits of notes and reminders and write everything on a single piece of paper (or 5 as it turned out this week.)

#2 Separate the list into categories by type of task such as: email, errands, phone calls, forms, writing, multi-step projects. Another way to organize the list is by due date.

#3 (my favorite) Cross off the list stuff that does not matter!!! Get rid of useless things on the list and give yourself permission to let it go.

One way to stop feeling guilty about everything that does not get done is to give yourself a boost to remind yourself how awesome you are and how much work you do already.

Add to the list what you have already done and put a check next to it for completion. It is a small but psychologically important exercise to visually see “Wow, I have gotten a lot done this week already!”

#4 Assign time allotments next to each item and put it in your schedule – when you get it done check it off. What does not get done each day can be eliminated permanently or moved over to another day.

One of the benefits of this step is to see how long things really take – not how long you think it should take. This allows you to step back, take a breather, and cut yourself some slack when you feel like you have too much to do.

#5 Star the essential really important ones and do those FIRST. Let the fun stuff take place later in the day or after lunch when there is a lag.

#6 See what can be done by other people and delegate where ever possible.

Hope this helps!  Got any other ideas of how you get stuff done? I would love to hear about it!!

Kathleen

Recap:

  1. Write to do list in one place
  2. Categorize by task or due date
  3. Cross stuff off
  4. Schedule
  5. Prioritize – important and hard work gets done first!
  6. Delegate

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3 Ways To Help You Stick With Your Meditation


It ain’t easy doin’ nothin’!

Finding time to stop and sit and “do nothing” can be daunting and at times frustrating, I know. So here are 3 quick and easy things you can do to find meditation time and stick with it.

1. When your meditation doesn’t happen in it’s scheduled time, put it on your “to do” list for the day – it can be quite satisfying to mark that one off afterwards.

2. Break up the time into smaller increments. If you do a 5 Minute Meditation, go ahead and stick with that. If your regular meditation is longer, try a couple of 5-10 minute meditations during different times of the day. Morning, lunch, night time…all good times to stop and take a breather.

3. Set a timer. Sometimes when I remember something I need to do later, I set an alarm on my cell phone so I am sure to do it when I hear the beeping. Right in the middle of things if you hear that alarm going off, it is a good way to take a 5 Minute Meditation break.

Enjoy!

Kathleen

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Sleeping In Is Delicious


These last few days I have been crazy tired and decided to sleep in a bit. It has been delicious!

Yet, I have to admit,  when I skip my regular meditation to stay in bed it takes me so much longer to get my bearings for the day and that sleepy daze takes a little longer to shake and get my focus going.

When I sleep in, I still have a meditation later in the day. But for me and my schedule and my personal needs, it is just not the same as the first-thing-in-the-morning meditation that I have cultivated.

So here is my new adjustment – keep my date with myself and stick to my regular scheduled early, early morning meditation time and then if I need to slip in a quick nap, I do.

Right now my minivan is my rockin’ nap machine. I grab a few winks while I am waiting to pick up the kids either at the bus stop or in the school parking lot before class gets out. (I’ve been a mom for over 16 years now and I assure you no one even looks twice if they see me napping in the minivan for ten minutes!!)

The discipline of sticking to my meditation plan is so so so worth it! But to be honest, I have to keep reminding myself that this is what I need to do.

A million more comfortable options present themselves. Actually, at 4:30 in the morning, only one comfortable option presents itself!

And if I get off track for a couple of days I can really feel it and every other aspect of my life is eager for the benefits of that early morning stillness.

So I tell you this because I need to remind myself. We all need encouragement and I am here to heartily encourage you to find the meditation time that best works for you and stick with it. And sharing this with you is an encouragement for me as well.

Having the support of others makes a huge difference – really it does! So thanks for helping me stay on track and let me know if I can help you, too!

Here are 3 good ideas to help you stick to your meditation plan:

1. Find a friend to help keep you on task. You do the same for your friend and each of you benefit from the support.

2. You can post your meditation plan right here (A little secret, once you make it public, there is a bit of accountability to stick to it.)

3. Schedule it in your planner – keep the appointment just like you would any other.

Give them a try and see what works best for you! Let me know how it goes…

xo,
Kathleen

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It is no accident that I had no accident


It’s no accident there was no accident for me.

It happened this morning on my way to the dojo. There is a particular route I drive most days. Drop off the kids at the bus, stop for a cup of coffee, maybe there is time for an errand or two. You know the drill – it is all part of the daily routine.

As I was on my usual way, I was surprised when out of the blue, clear as a bell, I hear this thought in my mind: change routes now.

For a brief moment I resist.

But then I give into this seemingly absurd notion and pull into the left hand turn lane to take a different highway to the dojo.

And yes, sure enough, it happened right before my eyes.

It was a typical accident. A van pulls out of the parking lot and rolls partially into the street. The small car in the lane closest to the van swerves to miss it. But unfortunately, there is a light truck in the next lane. As the truck is knocked into the oncoming traffic, bits of car parts are sent flying over the road into all 4 lanes.

In slow motion I see the truck heading straight for me. Right where I would have been. Except I am not there. I am in the left hand turn lane a few car lengths back. Out of harms way because I listened, trusted and followed my intuition.

(Remember the story when I listened to my intuition, but didn’t follow it…)

This time it was such a visceral experience since I saw the accident happen right before my eyes. The results of my choice were clear and immediate.

Wheh! That was a close one. It turned out that no one injured.

It was a relatively small accident, but one that still left everyone shaken. And thankful that no serious harm was done.

So this is a good time to increase your awareness: next time you hear your intuition giving you an odd command, listen to it. Trust it. Follow it.

It could save your life

Take good care of yourself.
And drive safely.

Xo,
Kathleen

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Sometimes The Best Way To Teach Is To Get Out Of The Way


People often ask me to teach them how to meditate and so I always prefer to give simply the most basic instruction necessary.

In my classes, what I am doing instead of teaching how to meditate is giving you the opportunity to experience it. Holding the space to make it easier or even possible. And I think that counts for a lot.

It happened today when I was leading an Aikido class where a third of the class was made up of black belts who have been training for many years longer than me (talk about intimidating!)

Instead of trying to “teach” them something, I demonstrated a series of familiar techniques and created the opportunity for the experience of vigorous training.

All the students trained according to their own capabilities and the result was a tremendously satisfying class.

Often times when we are in charge of a situation, we feel inclined to instruct to such an extent that our words become a mandate.

This is especially true for me if the person that I am instructing happens to be my teenage daughter. I really really want her to get the information I am giving her so she can learn it already!

But just like the meditation classes and the Aikido class, my best teaching is not teaching at all. It is a thousand times more effective if I give her a few guidelines and hold the space for her to safely experience it on her own.

This is an exceptionally ripe opportunity for paying careful attention to what my intuition is telling me – often it is telling me to Stop Talking!

It can seem unproductive to only give the slightest amount of instruction, but in reality all the words in the world are not nearly as valuable as just doing it.

So maybe you have a situation in your life like that – a child, an employee, a co-worker or a student. Maybe instead of teaching them how to do something, just give them a few choice guidelines and lots and lots of space to safely explore, experiment and experience it for themselves.

Give it a try.

Blessings,
Kathleen

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The Dalai Lama Said That Sleep Is The Best Meditation


The Dalai Lama has a full schedule. As a worldwide spiritual leader he travels, speaks, teaches,  writes, leads and maintains his own spiritual practice among a million other things. I heard that once he was asked if he reduces his meditation when he travels and has more time constraints. He noted that instead of meditating less during times of an extra full schedule, he meditates more.

It is mysterious, but if you decide to increase your meditation in the face of hectic and busy days, you will empower yourself. Any time you increase your resolve in the midst of challenging situations, you empower yourself to greater strengths.

Here is an idea. I encourage you to consider what you are presently doing with your meditation and set your intention to increase it just a little bit. Try it beginning today and go until the start of the New Year (2012!) Instead of waiting for the New Year to start or deepen your practice, do it now and you will be well on your way come January 1st.

You know how good it feels when you mediate. You know the blessed relief when have just a few minutes of everybody-leave-me-alone peace and quiet. Ah, bliss.

Now, this need not be an overwhelming, one more thing I gotta do, sort of a deal.

So how about this: 5 minutes.

Just 5 minutes. If you want to start meditating, try the 5 Minute Meditation. If you already have a practice, add 5 minutes each day.

It can be a walking meditation, a movement meditation, a stillness meditation, a chanting meditation. Whatever it is, commit to it. Give yourself that extra boost of energy and vitality that comes from a meditation practice.

xo,
Kathleen

PS. The Dalai Lama is also reported to have said that sleep is the best mediation, so maybe what you really need to commit to yourself is to get extra sleep.

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Carpool Magic


I drive a lot. Carpools,  pick-ups, drop-offs, ballet, art classes, high school, middle school, elementary school, aikido, library.

And that does not count anything extra – field trips, special events, science fair presentations, birthday parties, performances, dress rehearsals and mandatory parent meetings (x3!)

Now I have two things to say about all this. Actually three, but one of them is not printable…

First, I have to drive; there is no getting around that. And much of it is in heavy daily traffic, so I figured out how to stop fighting it (mostly) and settle into the Zen of Driving. When I arrive after the Zen trip, I am calm and ready for the adventure that is ahead. Of course, it doesn’t always work out that way…

There is no Zen of Driving when the kids are arguing and grumpy, either first thing in the morning or after a long day at school. I am completely serious when I tell you that I actually went into the Honda dealer a few weeks ago and asked if they could install a bullet proof, sound proof shield between my front seat and the back seats of my minivan.

You know, like the ones they have in taxis. I am even willing to have a little slot so the kids can slip me some money to pay for the gas. Or maybe even a tip, hmmm…

Anyhow, I put my foot down when it comes to excessive arguing and will pull over to get everyone quiet before I start again. Sometimes when I pull over to the side of the road, I can elicit a cease and desist to all the fighting by using my “crabby Mommy powers.”

Or sometimes I pull over and sit in complete and stony silence until everyone settles down. It all works, just gotta know which one for which situation. When it’s only my own children in the car, it’s fine and everyone shapes up and when we get back on the road, no one is worse for the stop.

But every once in a while when I am driving other children in the car, the whole group becomes so wild, loud and over the top that it actually become dangerous for me to drive under those conditions. I have to pull over to calm and quiet them down a bit using one or two of my special skills.

This of course is completely embarrassing for my kids and the other children, too. But it is effective and driving off after an awkward “pull-over” results in a completely silent ride the rest of the way home. They are all a little scared of me, and I like it that way.

I have been at this for a while and when I pull up to the bus stop for the pick up and everyone piles in, to quote Rick Harrison, “You never know what is going to come through that door!” And that leads me to the second thing I have to say about driving the carpool…

Sometimes, it is exquisite.

A teenager might climb into the front seat and tell me all about her day, her worries, her classes, her weekend plans, her uncertainty, her fears, her hopes and dreams. It happens.

Sometimes we all share a long standing joke that only comes up in the routine of the carpool. And one day comes when we are roaring hilariously over a funny scene that has unfolded over the course of time, maybe weeks, maybe years.

And when I am driving every time on the way to pick-up or after drop-off all by myself with no one else in the car, no music, no cell phone…ah, that is when my creative mind can solve problems, work out details, or just relax.

In the carpool we sing, debate, explore ideas, exchange mundane this and that, tell stories, share sadness, laugh and occasionally we all sit in natural silence each in our own private reverie.  It is precious time and I know it will be over some day.

So this is a job that takes up a lot of my time. And honestly, plenty of time I don’t really love it. But you know what, it is also a gift. And when I am willing to be present for it, magic happens in the carpool.

I know you have something in your life that is difficult, annoying, challenging, frustrating and will not go away. But consider that it can also be a gift and see what small pleasures you can receive from it today.

Best blessings,
xo,
Kathleen

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Thanks A Lot


The first time I heard about making a daily gratitude list it sounded like a good idea, but I did not think it would really make much difference to anything in my life.

The next time I heard about making a daily gratitude list I thought, “hmmm, maybe I should try that…” By the third time I heard about it, I was in a bit of a slump and decided to just go for it already.

So I got a 39¢ notebook and started listing 5 gratitudes every day.

WOW! I was not prepared for what happened next. Everything, I mean everything in my life changed. I stopped complaining. And once I stopped complaining, my body stopped having aches and pains. I started to enjoy the very things that I could not tolerate. I was really able to reframe experiences in my life to see them from a different perspective.

It was so simple and so immediate that it took me by surprise. I love my gratitude list and so I want to share with you my list of what I am thankful for today.

1. My Family. I know this seems so obvious that it is almost corny. But once I started to place my family at the top of my gratitude list, I began to be grateful for them. And I was much less irritated with them. (And let me tell you – that is something everyone was grateful for!)

2. Financial Well Being. When I started to express gratitude for my financial well being, a huge shift occurred in my life that had far reaching consequences. Instead of feeling like there was never enough, I became aware that there was always plenty.

3. Good Health. OK, there have been times of sickness – some worse than others – and I really don’t like that. But I remind myself that if I am alive and kicking, right here right now, then I have something to be grateful for.

4. Friends. Without friends, I’d be lost. It’s that simple. Thanks to my wonderful delicious fabulous friends – I luv ya!

OK, now for number 5 – something frivolous and random and something I enjoy and appreciate…those delicious French cookies I had last week (such a treat!), a good cup of tea, lunch with a friend, a book that makes me laugh, a book that makes me cry, an autumn walk, making all the lights on the way home, a good parking spot!! All of them and more…

I am so blessed. And so are you.

Write up your 5 gratitudes and share them here. Do it every day and experience surprising little miracles.

xo,
Kathleen